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Discussion: What are the Qualifications for DWTS Contestants !??Reported This is a featured thread

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SlikLizrd
SlikLizrd
What are the Qualifications for DWTS Contestants !??
Nov 20 2010, 6:06 AM EST | Post edited: Nov 20 2010, 6:20 AM EST
It has been said that to become a contestant, you must first be a celebrity. With that hurdle in mind, I must conclude that being picked as a "celebrity" is as simple as: (1) Become 30 pounds over weight. (2) Sleep around with several various partners before adulthood. (3) Become pregnant. (4) Be able to choose being a game show contestant over staying home and raising your newborn child. (5) Have a willingness and desire to promote teenage pregnancy throughout the country on national television. (6) Have your quitter/loser mother and her political extremist cronies condoning and supporting the aforementioned anti-social behavior. And (7), The unhealthy craving to become the standard for the entire Nation.
That sounds pretty clear-cut to me, and I would imagine that every low-life, lay-around teeny-bopper with an IQ as big as her shoe size would qualify -- except for the wolf-shooting, religious crackpot mother that thinks she's actually a female bear.
Having a mother that pretends she belongs to another species is what makes Bristol Palin so eerily unique, and THAT's why we have Bristol instead of some other bimbette stinkin' up the show !!!
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SlikLizrd
SlikLizrd
1. RE: What are the Qualifications for DWTS Contestants !??
Nov 20 2010, 2:54 PM EST | Post edited: Nov 20 2010, 2:54 PM EST
Personally, I thought the standards would be pretty high, but it appears that I was WAAAAYY wrong !!
Overheard at Bristol Palin's interview:
Director: OK, Bristol -- Honey, can you see lightning !!???
Bristol: Yes.
Director: OK, Sweetheart -- you're half-way there!!
Bristol: I knew, er, -- I thought I could do it !
Director: OK, Baby, take you're time on this one -- it's a biggie.
Bristol: I think I'm ready.
Director: OK, Sugar -- Can you hear thunder !???
Bristol: Most of the time.
Director: 2 out of 2 !! A PERFECT score !!! Bristol, you're a star !!

Later, we hear the Producer say to the Director:
WTF are we gonna do with her 2 right feet !!???
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