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May 20 2009, 4:36 PM EDT jakefwp 349 words added
May 20 2009, 4:34 PM EDT jakefwp


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Comedian, roastmaster and DWTS season 7 participant (and first one eliminated) Jeffrey Ross returned to roast the DWTS finalists for the second season in a row. His routine was, let's say, edgier than the first time. Whether you laughed, cringed or both, here are some quotes from the roast:

"Tom Bergeron, the best host in all of television. At least that's what it says in his book."

"I don't know if you know this, but 'Bergeron' is an old French word. It means 'Seacrest.'"

"It's always fun to see my three favorite judges: Smoking, Croaking and Flaming."

"Last season I made DWTS history by getting voted off... on the premiere."

"This is the first season ever that no actual stars made it to the finale.... I didn't know this show was called "Dancing With The Vaguely Familiar."

"Lil' Kim... I guess it's not easy doing the cha cha cha wearing a bulletproof vest. She was just here for community service anyway."

"Ty Murray, a very cool guy. Doing the Brokeback Mambo."

"Steve Wozniak, I love your Nestle's quickstep."

"Hey Woz, clear something up for me, was it you who took the bite out of the Apple logo?"

"Belinda Carlisle, one of my heroes. I love the way you're dressed like a hooker from Battlestar Galactica."

"LT, look at him sitting over there, sweating like Tom Bergeron without a teleprompter."

"Look how beautiful Holly Madison looks tonight. She didn't do very well on the show. Every time the director shouted 'Action,' she started taking her clothes off."

"Tonight is all about the underage, the unwed and the unpronouncable."

"Gilles Marini... What are you, French, Italian or blue cheese?"

(to Gilles about the Sex and the City movie): "You may not have had the biggest role, but you definitely had the largest part."

"Shawn Johnson... I heard if you win, ABC's going to send you to Disneyland. Too bad you're too short to ride Space Mountain."

"Melissa, you're so beautiful, what can I say... Will you marry me?"

"Wouldn't it be ironic if she came in second on this show, too?"