Version User Scope of changes
Oct 26 2009, 3:56 PM EDT offwithherhead 47 words added
Oct 26 2009, 3:31 PM EDT offwithherhead 11 words added


Key:  Additions   Deletions
Week 6
Mya: " If Mr. Michael Irvin wants to accidently bump into me, then he better accidently wear a cup."

Len (About MIchael's dance and Bruno's and Carrie Ann's score): "It's amazing that three people can watch a dance, and two of them can get it totally wrong."

Len: "Sometimes less is more...but not in the Jitterbug...more is more!."

Tom Bergeron: "There are a couple of sites on the internet where you can bid on Mark's hair from last week."

Carrie Ann (to Melissa): "Well at least you kept your puppies up".

Mark Ballas: "It was really fun for me to take a backseat, and watch someone else kick Melissa's butt".

Bruno (to Mya) "Mya, don't worry, cleanliness is next to Godliness".

Week 5
Alec (to Natalie): "Dimples don't intimidate."

Anna D (to Michael): "Walk like you're holding a coin in your butt cheeks."

Bruno: "Michael, keep that nickel in your butt, because it's working for you."

Mya (after accidentally kneeing Dmitry in the groin): "Seems like the female's dominating the male on this one."

Kym: "Argentine Tango is the most passionate dance. Do you know what that means?"
Donny: "I've got five kids, what do you think?"

Bruno: "Finally Donny Osmond is turning into Donny Darko."

Bruno (to Melissa): "You looked slightly grumpy more than sexy."

Karina to Aaron in rehearsal: "Turn me on...and that is not easy because I am a cold-hearted b****."

Week 4
Bruno (to Michael): "Your dancing is a little like the economy. Every week it's supposed to be getting better, but nothing happens."

Michael: "Only in America can you dance like we were just dancing, with a beautiful woman, and have a beautiful wife in the audience right there in the front row, and she's clapping, like "Good job! Good job!"

Louie: "At least I'm not crying."

Derek: "We got two nines and an eight. What's that, 28? [pause] Wait, 26."
Joanna: "Two blondes, taking five seconds to add up to 26."

Bruno (to Chuck): "You bring carnage and mayhem in everything you do, but it's still a two-step."

Len (to the audience): "I liked it a lot, don't start booing."

Karina (to Aaron): "It's actually not bad. The only thing... you're pigeon-toed, you're sticking your ass out, and you're not moving your hips." But other than that it's not bad."

Tom B (to Len): "Wait a second, you're upset because there's not enough raunch?"

Lacey: "Mark and I have the country two-step this week... and Mark's not very country."

Tom B: "The judges berated her lack of confidence, which is a great way to boost someone's self-esteem."

Carrie Ann (after Joanna and Derek's lambada): "I hope the children are in bed."
Tom: "I bet some of the adults are now."

Len (to Donny): "You look good, you dance good, and watching you does you good."

Week 3
Lacey (to Mark): "You need to learn to calm down."

Len (to Bruno): "You need a check-up from the neck up."

Bruno (to Mya): "You put all of America in the mood for love."

Tom: "I saw Mark's hair and I suddenly want to watch T.J. Hooker."

Tom: "Later on, Len will read from his essay, "Beethoven was a hack."

Len (to Debi): "When you turn look a little worried."
Debi: "I am."

Bruno (to Donny): "It was a bit airy-fairy at times."

Carrie Ann (after Donny kissed Bruno): "That was a bit awkward."

Samantha (to Donny): "Only a seven from Bruno. You should have given him tongue."
Donny: "Whoa."

Bruno (to Natalie): "Sexy beast!"

Bruno (to Chuck): "It's like a samba from Zombietown. But Zombietown is a hit!"

Week 2

Anna Demidova (to Michael Irvin): "If dancing was easy, they'd call it football."

Louie: "The judges are kind of harshing my mellow."

Tom (to Bruno): "Sometimes I feel like we're all interfering with your therapy session."

Tom: "You might remember that last week, our head judge Len Goodman encouraged UFC fighter Chuck Liddell to get in touch with his feminine side, which may have something to do with Len not being here this evening."

Debi: "You have to be more patient."
Maksim: "Never."

Chelsie: "You'll run up to some woman in the crowd and kiss her on the cheek."
Louie: "Maybe like 40's, blonde, Utah-ish."
Chelsie: [pause] "Wait, my mom?"

Tom (to the judges after Aaron and Karina's three nines): "I thought you had left those paddles in storage."

Bruno: "Mya the magnificent!"

Carrie Ann (to Tom DeLay): "You've got to squeeze 'em together, sir."
Tom: "Historically, that's been his problem."

Week 1

Maksim: "Dancing is not a democracy. If you do what I say, you'll be good."

Debi: "Are they too long, my arms? I never noticed that before."

Debi: "Maybe I'm too tight in my hips."
Maksim: "Just stop talking."

Bruno (to Debi): "You can work those bazooms like nobody else."

Tom (to Bruno): "During that critique, Bela Lugosi called. He wants his laugh back."

Len: "It was all sweet and sickly."

Tom (about Len): "They don't call him Old Iron Knickers for nothing."

Mya: "Dmitry is the perfect partner for me because number one, he's cute. Number two, he's tall and cute."

Len (to Dmitry): "This was not a Viennese Waltz, it was a theatrical hodge-podge."

Tom: "I thought we'd have to wait until Flash Forward debuted to see an alternate reality, but no. Thank you, Len."

Tom: "Let's not overshare."

Alec (to Natalie): "Relax. You look like you're going to explode."

Len: "If the girls can't come out here and knock my socks off, then I don't know what's going on."
Carrie Ann: "You're getting old."

Len (to Macy): "It was beautiful in its own bizarre way."

Bruno (to Macy): "It's like watching a small child taking its first steps into the world: 'What's happening here? Who am I? Where am I going?'"

Bruno (to Joanna): "What a specimen."

Kelly: "Oh.... I'm so special."

Kelly: "My bum just wiggled. I am not doing that."

Aaron: "I'm OK with heels. I'm not gonna say I've never tried them on."

Anna T (about Chuck): "You better be scared. He can hurt people."

Michael: "Why'd you do this, Mike?"

Mark: "Lacey is the master. I'm the grasshopper."

Len (about Chuck): "It was a little aggressive."

Edyta: "You know what you're not doing?"
Ashley: "Dancing?"

Edyta: "Good job, you looked like a dancer.... A little bit."

Tom: "If you're dancing at home, no kung fu and down with the razzamatazz."

Louie: "I'm glad I found a dancer that's smaller than me, because that's hard to find."

Tom Delay: "Going left for me is absolutely outrageous."

Bruno: "You are crazier than Sarah Palin!"

Carrie Ann (to Tom Delay): "That was surreal."

Len (to Tom Delay): "Parts were magic, parts were tragic."

Tom Delay: "I've got bigger critics than those judges."

Donny (rehearsing the salsa): "I don't think they're ever going to let me back in Utah again."

Louie: "Donny, the only high score you're getting is on your birthday card."

Mark: "The Viennese Waltz is so stiff and uncomfortable, Tom Delay should be doing it."

Tom Delay: "I always like to go last, so I can watch the competition."
Cheryl: [pause] "But we're not going last."

Adam Carolla (To Donny): "You're 51, when do we get to start calling you Don?"

Adam Carolla (To Donny): "Did you bring the smelling salts? Because I hear Osmonds are prone to fainting."