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The 4th Judge: Dancing With the Stars Fan Blog


Trapped in the Closet with Donny Osmond

October 13, 2009
Trapped in the Closet with Donny OsmondI have to admit I am trapped in the closet with Donny Osmond.

I don't mean that Donny is in the closet [see excessive display of affection from Donny to Bruno in week 3], I mean I AM in the closet with Donny, and here's why.

I like him. More than I would like to like him. He's slowly becoming one of my favs and it pains me to say this.

I want to be ok with it, but the problem is that while he is doing a very good job on DWTS, he also bothers me. Case in point, the Donny Osmond checklist we go through every single week.

The Donny Osmond Checklist:
#1. Pre-dancing video of Donny in practice, and somehow this week's dance is more daunting than anything he's done before. A lot of people say this, but it's not true with Donny because he's been performing since he was a fetus.

#2. The perfomance.performance. It's always high-energy and pretty darn good. When you IMDb Donny to see how old he is, you find out he's in his 50s52 and you are like "No f******f******* way!" This is how Donny stakes his claim on your heart.

#3. Donny hates the idea of offending anyone in America. So, when he does things like his excessive Bruno love, he plays it like a total politician, and disclaims it later. Donny, bubby, just suck it up and let America know you are ok with having fun and playing around. No reason to go homophobic on us.

#4. Serious cheese. And the cheesiness doesn't bother me as much as the disingenuousness. See #3.

#5. Getting the judges scores, acting surprised at good scores, seriously being surprised by bad scores, and profusely thanking Kim and telling America what a wonderful teacher she is. Someone needs to do a YouTube mashup of all the sucking up that Donny does during the few moments he gets to talk on camera.

So, there you have it. And despite it all, I still love him. He really is a great performer and he puts everything into it every single week. Did I mention he's 52? No f******* way!


Samantha Harris on Broadway as Roxy

October 13, 2009

So, this morning when I woke up I felt unsettled after watching Dancing with the Stars last night. Something was amiss in the universe, but I couldn't put my finger on it. And then I remembered a conversation between Samantha Harris and Kelly Osbourne:

Samantha: "And you said you want to play Roxy on Broadway in Chicago. So, do you think you passed your audition here?"

Kelly: "I don't know,
you played Roxy, you tell me."

Zounds! Samantha Harris played Roxy? This stirs up all kinds of questions. Did she wear a blonde wig? Did she sing and dance? Was it on Broadway like the REAL Broadway? I had a hard time picturing it, but lucky for us, the CBS Early Show did a story on this topic. Check it out:

Ok, I'm going to leave my opinion out of it because I'm curious about what you guys think. Can Samantha Harris sing and dance?


the 4th judge firing squad

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Trapped in the Closet with Donny Osmond

Favorite dance: Paso Doble
Favorite contestant: Donny Osmond and Kelly Osbourne
Motto: I think that the judges should have a dance-off.
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